Bringing It Down to the Earth

Posts tagged ‘adults’

Should I Make My Daughter Finish All of the Food on Her Plate?

Question: My two-year-old daughter often sits with us at the table and eats—usually. My question is, should I have her eat if she doesn’t want to? Should I force her to try new foods? Should I make her sit there until her plate is clean or until she’s eaten two bites of peas? If she asks to leave the table before her father and I are finished eating, do I let her?

Maureen‘s Answer:

As you may know, the theme of Soul-Full Eating is: “Eat with love, what’s grown with love, prepared with love and served with love.”

I feel that across the board, this simple statement is the answer to all kinds of struggles that adults have with food. But it’s important that as adults we ask ourselves, when do most food struggles begin? The answer is often in childhood. Many of us grew up in households where it was expected that we “clean our plates” before we could be excused from the table. Let’s get more specific to your questions now… to an inquisitive, on-the-go two-year-old this can be a torturous experience. Often, before the adults at the dining table have finished two mouthfuls of their food, a two year old will declare, “I’m done.” That’s because they’re genuinely satiated with one or two bites themselves and are now ready to move on to “more interesting things.”

So I’d like you to ask yourself, if you’re asking an “expert” how to feed your own child… maybe at some point you were led to believe that other people’s opinions and feelings are more valid and important than your own. The only question I believe you need to ask here—to yourself!—is, “what feels most loving to me now?” How can you best show my daughter that she is completely loved—even at the dinner table?

By the way, my sister-in-law still speaks about how traumatized she was by having to sit at the dining room table long after every one of her siblings was excused, until she ate those last three cold and wilting peas. As she relates it, as a child she rebelled and tried to assert her autonomy for hours and hours saying, “I don’t like peas!.” Unfortunately she’d eventually break and eat them—her dad was a military Colonel at the time, so he knew how to win a battle! But, at what cost?

We never crave food as much as we crave love. And you can teach your children self-love via eating food. Yes! Offer them good, wholesome, healthy choices—plenty of them—this will spark their creativity and feelings of empowerment as they can make their own choices and feel your love as they do so.

If you find that, as an adult, you are unsure if you are in a battle with food yourself, here’s an excerpted exercise from Soul-Full Eating, that’s often very revelatory for my readers. Try it and let me know what you find out. And remember, it’s through conscious parenting that we often discover the spontaneous, joyous, oh-so-loveable “lost child” in ourselves.

SOMETHING TO CHEW ON
Spend five minutes meditating on or writing about the following questions: When you were young, were you given praise for finishing every last bite on your plate? Were you ever coerced into eating even after you felt full by being told about the starving children in other parts of the world or about how others suffered and sacrificed to provide you with your meal?

If so, then it’s likely that guilt has been coloring your world when it comes to eating—guilt for not eating enough, or guilt for eating too much. We are all born with an internal comfort-seeking mechanism—the Soul—The “Voice” of sanity. However, for many of us, it’s been layered over, smothered and silenced by the guilt inherent in our fear-based conditioning.

SOUL-FULL EXERCISE #1
Just for one day, do only what you genuinely love to do. Can you do that? Lucky you, if you don’t have to put a hold on everything and completely rearrange your entire life to do this. That means you are already being True to your Soul!
But if you do have to do a bit of finagling of time and space in order to allow your authentic-self to emerge, that’s still fine. Why? Because now you can see that you really do deserve to love yourself more. Once you do this once, there may be no turning back!
Eating what you really don’t love, without love, is just one small symptom of a greater picture of denying your brilliance and self-worth.

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Done with Dieting: 30 Days of Soul-Full Eating

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Connect with Soul and Give up your Dieting Woes for Good!

Done with Dieting: 30 Days of Soul-Full Eating

When Kate seeks help for her yo-yo dieting and weight gain, she’s looking for more than just another carb counting quick fix. Tired of both herself and an endless parade of nutrition and fitness advice, Kate doubts that any diet can help her overcome her compulsive eating habits to find the perfect weight.

But the seemingly ordinary “life coach” who agrees to take Kate on as a client, has more than Kate’s waistline in mind. This unconventional diet is a complete overhaul of body, mind, and soul, causing Kate to question some of her most cherished beliefs, and let go of past regrets along with mealtime baggage. As Kate’s mentor guides her into unknown territory, they uncover an aspect of eating Kate had long ago forgotten: joy. Throwing all rules and restrictions out the window, Kate is led by one simple principle, “Eat with love what’s grown with love, prepared with love and served with love.”

A warm-hearted and fiercely direct dialogue ensues, as the two women clear Kate’s kitchen, asses her wardrobe and uncover a brilliantly confident woman that Kate never realized was hiding under her own skin.

Join Kate on her journey from “I’m not” to “I am!” by receiving one installment of the story each morning for 30 days, accompanied by daily exercises and meditations to integrate Kate’s discoveries into your own life. Accompanied by Kate, the path to health and radiance has never been more engaging or appealing.

Sign up now, and you’ll receive a month of teleconferences with Maureen, plus unlimited access to her via email, Free!

You may sympathize with Kate if you’ve ever…

  • Quit a diet that you swore you’d stick to, feeling defeated and self-loathing.
  • Triumphantly reached your dieting goals, only to yo-yo back to your original weight, while frantically trying to control your fluctuating waistline.
  • Felt frustrated and confused by the hundreds of diet “plans” and “experts” all with their own, often-contradictory methods of achieving the perfect body.
  • Grown sick of listening to other people tell you how you should eat, exercise and look.

What if you could end all of your struggles with food and stop dieting forever?
You can!

Most traditional diets rely on pre-planned meals, regimented lists of “shoulds” and “shoudln’ts”, and carb, fat and calorie counting—methods which only create more guilt and mealtime stress, and often causing dieters to quit altogether or quickly bounce back to their original weight.

Kate’s Awakening, by contrast, tackles mealtime and dressing room woes at their very source—the deep-rooted feelings of guilt and self-loathing that most of us associate with those experiences—and which keep us from trusting ourselves to decide when, what, and how much we should eat.

Over the course of this 30-Day email program, you’ll learn to trust yourself to make healthy, wholesome decisions about food. You’ll learn how to indulge without guilt, to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, and to eat—and live—in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied, and not aching for more.

Expect your newfound confidence and appreciation to expand into the rest of your daily experience—get ready to love your life!

Click here to read a sample of Done with Dieting

It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love,
are so entwined that we cannot think of one without the other.
~ M.F.K. Fisher

A Message About Done with Dieting from Maureen:
At first, my motivation to become supremely knowledgeable about nutrition and wellness was entirely self-serving and superficial. As an international model, I wanted to be “picture perfect” and “marketable,” so I could be successful and make a living. But as I watched friends and co-workers turn towards drugs or develop eating disorders, I realized that my interest in full-body wellness and spirituality had helped me not only maintain a desirable physique, but also stay sane in an often crazy and self-destructive industry.

Over the course of a quarter decade, I read literally hundreds of books, attended lectures, workshops and retreats by every known (and unknown) wellness authority of the day. As time passed and I thankfully matured, I realized that there is no “expert” and no one can be anyone else’s “diet authority.”

No matter how learned, how many degrees or titles someone may have after their name, the person who is most expert about you, is you!

In fact, the more I came to know myself, the more evident it became to me how ludicrous it is that any expert should be given the authority to tell me, or any one, what precisely I should eat, at any given time of the day!

I am not here to tell you that this food is good and this food is bad. It’s time to rise above all of that, and allow you to pay attention to your own body and your own needs, to give you the space to decide what is right for you, right now.

Despite a world littered with fast food restaurants and seductive junk food commercials promising ultimate satisfaction there are people who are able to stay thin and healthy and can negotiate their way through the synthetic food jungle every day. And even quite peacefully and consciously indulge from time to time. How?
They are focused on self-love, and have learned what satisfies their own needs, rather than endlessly filling a void and riding the cycle of self-guilt.

Have you ever watched a small child eat? They eat what they want when they want it, and stop as soon as they are full. They never binge or intentionally starve themselves, or feel guilt for not eating the “right” amounts of the “right” foods.

That is, until the child begins school, where there are allotted times for eating, and using the bathroom, and playing, and paying attention. At dinnertime, adults tell her that she has to either finish everything on her plate or stop eating so much of certain foods. As the child grows older, she loses touch with what her body needs, instead relying on experts to tell her what will make her feel and look “perfect.” She might overindulge to ease emotional pain, or restrict herself to feel more in control of her life and image. Soon, mealtime becomes a complicated mess of “shoulds,” “don’ts” and “wants.” Wouldn’t it be nice to return to those childhood eating habits, when you just ate whatever you liked, whenever you felt hungry, with no guilt?

In this 30-day “non-diet” program, you’ll purge yourself of mealtime baggage, and learn to trust yourself to make healthy, wholesome decisions about food. You’ll learn how to indulge without guilt, to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, and to eat—and live—in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied, and not aching for more.

Every human has two things in common,
1. We all Eat.
2. We all feel a certain, albeit often undeniable pang of emptiness that whispers, “there must be something more than this.”

Sure we can quiet that voice, from time to time, just like our body’s hunger for food, making it subside by burying it under layers of material consumption. But the only time that any of us are ever truly, deeply full, contented and satisfied is when we feel deeply loved.

That void is the voice of your Soul calling you to live your own life fully and freely, led by a deeply fulfilling interior motivation that is aligned with self-love and awareness. A life guided by, infused with, and impassioned by love.

Wouldn’t you much rather learn to love yourself than temporarily trim your waistline by mastering another diet, only to find yourself yo-yo right back to where you were before you started it?

Welcome to the Done with Dieting Program

It’s the journey to rediscover Soul via the love of food.

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